He Is So Faithful

I’ll be doing chemo again on Tuesday, the 31st. The doctor’s office called me and said that the doctor has decided to substitute the chemo drug I had an allergic reaction to, with a sister drug to that one. There’s more side effects like nausea and ringing in the ears, plus it’s harder on the kidney’s. so, they will be giving me a bag of fluids before and after the infusions. I’m nervous about all this, but I only have a few more treatments to suffer through.

I’ve been very tired but that’s just normal. I did paint one afternoon and my son’s helped me deep clean my bedroom. I spend so much time in my bedroom that I felt that it needed to be cleaner and fresher. I am so grateful to them for their help as I simply wouldn’t have had the energy to do all that they did.. Plus, it just makes me feel better knowing I’m in a clean room.


I never finished this post so thought I would just add information as to what the outcome of my chemo treatment was. I did fine with it, although it was a very long day. I ended up being there past 6 pm and the nurse stayed to finish everything up. She was also very sweet and let my son come back with me during the last 2 hours of my treatment because there was no one else there. They haven’t been allowing him back the past 3 treatments because of you know what. It has made it so much more stressful for me not having him there with me during the treatments. I’ve heard other patients say the same thing. Having a support system right there makes such a huge difference.

The change in the chemo drug knocked me for a loop two days after. Before, I would get terrible pain in my feet and ankles. It felt like every bone was broken. However, I was never as weak or dizzy as I got on this new medicine. It knocked me down for a full week. I’m still much weaker and more tired than normal and that’s saying something….I’m always really tired. Thankfully, my youngest son has been a rock through this whole thing and has supported me in so many ways. He has made me food for the freezer so I’ll have good food to eat and has made sure I have fresh fruits. Mind you – he works a full time job on top of all this at a very demanding job so he is being so self sacrificing. I’m so incredibly blessed to have him.

I’m having my next ct scan tomorrow. It’s to determine if the chemo has been working to get rid of the cancer. I do have good news as far as finally getting the results from the last ct scan. The nurse called and said that they are seeing improvement on all previous disease and her words were, “It’s amazing”. So that was such good news and I am so very grateful to God for all He has done for me. Yes, this road I’m on is hard but I’m never alone – Jesus walks this road with me.

I’ve not been doing anything much. Like I said, this treatment has knocked me for a loop. I’ve been watching a lot of television and listening to my Christian teachings online. I’m so thankful for the good teaching that I can listen to any time I want.

Please keep me in your prayers for the next ct scan results. I’m praying there will be another huge improvement with the cancer being eradicated! I am seeing God working through all this and blessing me so much He is so faithful!

I Am Not Brave

I’m not writing here on my blog as much as I would like to. It’s been a difficult few weeks as the chemo seems to be taking more of a toll on me. My body is worn out from all the surgeries, chemo, radiation, and more over the past few years. It feels exhausting, and it is!

I had my third chemo treatment last week and it was an event, to say the least. First of all, when I got there, they informed me my son couldn’t come in with me. New restrictions and all that Where I get the treatments is quite a long way from my home. He ended up having to just sit in the waiting room and did go off to get us some lunch, but I felt bad for him. He’s always so kind about everything, though. The second thing that happened is I had allergic reaction to one of the chemo drugs. It wasn’t unexpected as that was one of the first warnings I had been given at the beginning of my first treatment. They said if I felt anything strange at all to let the nurse know.

Well, I think I was so distressed at not having my son with me, when I started feeling strange, instead of telling the nurse, I texted my son and asked if I should say anything! I know…goofy me. Of course, he texted back and said I needed to. I had itchy palms, coughing fits, shortness of breath and was flushed and starting to get hives. I mean, I can’t believe now that I even hesitated to say anything! They were immediately on top of it and got me out of the reaction pretty quickly. It has left me feeling quite shaky and my side effects have been worse. I wasn’t sure what the plan would be gong forward and my doctor was on vacation so I had no idea what would happen next.

I got a phone call today from his PA and she said they are going to give me the sister drug to the one I’m allergic to. I think the reason they decided to stay with the chemo treatment is because it’s been working! I got my CT scan done two weeks ago and it shows I have nothing suspicious in my abdomen and the cancer tumors in my lungs are smaller! Praise God! I really hate being on chemo, but if it works, then for me, it’s worth it. I also trust God to guide my steps in figuring how what to do and I trust His knowledge way more than I do my own or anyone else.

Thankfully, I’ve had days where I feel good enough to read and study my Bible. One book I’m reading right now is by David Jeremiah. It’s called A Bend In the Road.

This book focuses on Dr. Jeremiah’s journey through cancer but it’s so much more! It also shares the stories of other people who have come to a bend in the road and found themselves facing something they thought they would never imagined. The thing I love about this book, though, is the encouragement based on Scripture! I have highlighted this book so much, there’s barely any page showing through! I have also written down Scriptures and quotes that really spoke to me as I go through my own unwanted journey.

I know I have said this before, but it’s worth repeating. I could not go through this hard, hard journey I’m on with the peace, strength and assurance of Jesus. I had a friend tell me the other day that I was so brave. I am not brave – fa from it! Any bravery I have is from the Lord. I have neve been brave but the Lord has given me a strength that can only be from Him. I am so thankful!

Day By Day

I’ve started my chemo treatments again. It’s been harder this time. I’m feeling more tired, more sick and have been in more pain. I really do just have to get through it day by day. To look ahead any farther seems daunting to me. I focus on doing what I can to feel better and I try to do something I enjoy every day – even if it’s just listening to a cozy mystery on my audio book account.

I’ve been reading A Bend In the Road by David Jeremiah when I can. It’s an encouraging book that reflects on his own battle with cancer. It’s such an encouraging book and I’ve highlighted extensively. It really helps to read a book by someone who has been in the same tough thing you’re going through. It encourages more because I know he’s been there and done that. More importantly…he made it through and shares how he did it.

My encouragement through the really hard days has continued to be God’s Word. I listen to Biblical teaching on a favorite app. I also open my Bible when I’m able. I find these days that the radio stations I listen to for teaching have become a lifeline. I have also chosen some good books by Christian authors like Joni Eareckson Tada. She knows what it’s like to fight cancer and pain so her audio books have been another good source of encouragement.

Each moment and each day, requires my focus on God or I will find myself feeling sorry for myself. Once going down that road, it’s hard to get off it. My attitude is truly going to help me get well so I’m choosing to believe God…that he is with me and covering me with His wing.

Joyful Comfort

Life can be very difficult. I have found myself in a season of suffering. Sometimes when people say, “a season of suffering”, they may mean a few weeks, a few months or maybe a year. My season of suffering has been years. The last two years have been almost unbearable and I’m still in that deep cavern of suffering. There are days where tears are my constant companion and loneliness follows me like a shadow.

However, there is a light that shines down and keeps me from being enveloped by total darkness. That light is Jesus. I cry out to Him, share my burdens and my heart and He hears me and comforts me. Oh, the beautiful joy of knowing Jesus as my Savior!

My story is unique but there are aspects of it that I’m sure you can relate to. we all have times of suffering whether through illness, grief, loss, or something else that we weren’t expecting. We can be going along and all of a sudden the road drops out from underneath us, leaving us with a heart that’s beating fast and feeling as though we can barely breathe. It’s not something any of us would ask for, but in our world, it happens.

I will share more of my story as I go along but I wanted to let you know what this site will be about…the hope we have in Jesus.